I’m starting this blog post with a big WELCOME BACK, it’s been a while hasn’t it? I’ve had a rather big change in my every day life but by the title of this post, you’ve probably already guessed!
I am now a mum of three! *dun duun duuunnnn*
Pretty incredible for someone who at the age of 10 declared that she never wanted to have kids. Having two children came as a shock, everyone tells you how hard it’s going to be and that going from ‘one to two’ is a very difficult transition, which it was!
But nothing quite prepared me for a third baby, I had never imagined having a third baby and quite frankly I was just a bit terrified.
Everyone decided now was the right time to inform me that my life was going to change for the worse, that I will never be able to sleep again and that having three kids is like having a death sentence.
It began like this…
I don’t live with my partner, so sex isn’t often. I was also still breastfeeding Holly (age 2) so although you’re told that the contraceptive part of breastfeeding only really lasts for the first 6 months, I guess I was playing Russian roulette and believed I was still protected.
5 months pass, I’m laying in bed… I start feeling these really odd movements in my stomach. At first I thought it was wind, but a few days past and I was still getting the same feelings. I call my mum in a bit of a panic telling her that I’ve either got terrible trapped wind or… There’s a baby moving around?!?!
I decide to buy a test – just to rule it out. After all, I’m not exactly ‘sexually active’ and if I could feel a baby moving, that would mean I’m at least 18-20 weeks?.. I couldn’t comprehend it considering I’m already a mum of two, surely I would know the signs, right?
So I take the test, not expecting to be pregnant, but my legs are shaking so much I can hardly pee on what seemed a miniscule pregnancy test.
I try to wait anxiously for the result but my eyes did not move from that pregnancy test, but within seconds the second line appeared and I was in fact pregnant.
All sorts start rushing through my head, how far along am I? How are people going to react?! How am I going to cope?
I went to see my doctor, I explained I had experienced some trapped wind which made me believe I was far gone, but I didn’t think I was. She had a feel of my tummy and to my delight, told me I was at least 18 weeks gone if not further into my pregnancy.
First of all… WHAT THE F**K, and second of all, HOW COULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN?!
I had to book my ‘dating scan’ which most normal people get a glimpse of their tiny little alien baby floating around. My first dating scan was a bit different to say the least, it was an ACTUAL BABY, with actual facial features and at this point either had a penis or a vagina. Mind… Blown.
So, a very short 4 months later, Harry arrived. My third and (possibly) final baby. Thrown into my life as quickly as he came into it (4 minutes to be exact).
Coping wise? Not great, I have days where I feel like I’m utterly failing – but there are some days when I actually wash my hair and don’t forget to brush my teeth so yano, all good.
Wish me luck!